The doctor did not give any comments on whether it was cancerous or not, just gave me some brief facts and reassurances that it might not be cancerous and such. I was really scared and I cried when I had the scanning. After less than half an hour, I had a report of the accurate size and picture of the lump.

I called my then boyfriend and family and cried. I kept thinking of dying and how I was too young to die. How the things I did will affect me, and how I will never experience the things I haven’t done. Weddings, child birth, I was only 20 going on 21. After a month of preparing myself for operation and the outcome, I checked myself at SMC Malaysia, in Sabah. Away from extended family members and friends.

I don’t want people to know, but I was ashamed. The operation was less than 2 hours, and it was my first operation. It was painful but it was not as bad as I thought. Less than a week later, I was declared cancer-free. It was like I was given another chance to live.

My point is, cancer is not a death ticket. We can fight cancer.

I had this thought that I had cancer before the operation, and I made it a point to be open minded, and to be positive that I can fight it. There are many death stories of cancer but there are also many survivors. The only thing is early diagnosis. SO please get yourself checked. Paranoia is good as it can saves lives.

I am lucky, I have resources and insurance. I think some people, especially in Malaysia, cannot afford to have an early diagnosis due to financial constraints, and government hospitals might be really cheap, but the service is bad. I might have a full report in less than an hour, but other people in government hospitals have to wait for many months to even get a report.

Cancer does not collaborate with time, and this is dangerous. Therefore the government and organizations should do something to combat this issue.

To all cancer patients and survivors, and those affected by cancer in family members, be strong. Do not let the sickness corrupt you. Cancer is curable, just be positive. Xoxo.

Anyone can share their stories do email me at. I will love to publish your stories in my blog to inspire anyone with cancer or with a loved one affected by cancer.

—Nadia Ramli

This week on Johnson & Johnson’s YouTube channel, there’s a video about a woman named Ty Hunter and her discovery that she had breast cancer. In the video, Ty discusses her reactions to the cancer and shares her thoughts about the various treatment options.

Jan was an amazing woman through Sierra’s eyes. Sierra would ask what she could do to earn an extra dollar or two so that she could take Jan a candy bar. Jan had told Sierra that the chocolate helped her fight the cancer. Sierra being the loving person that she is to everyone she meets embraced this woman knowing what the outcome could be and still loved her unconditionally.

She would come home in the evenings and tell me and my husband about the day and would talk about Jan. My husband and I both were curious about the development since she was not Sierra’s direct gym coach. However, nothing we could do would prepare Sierra for the final outcome. We had no warning of how bad it would get. No time to prepare Sierra when she found out.

She went to pick up her schedule for the school year when she received the news while asking when Jan would be back at school. Sierra cannot tell you that she picked up her schedule, she cannot tell you that she met her new principal. All she remembers of that day was that her 6th grade principal gave her the news.

We sat for two days with her crying. Unable to help her understand how to cope with this loss. The loss of someone she had come to love unconditionally, the way we should all love. I hope that everyone one day can be so loving and generous as she is. However, it doesn’t stop there. My daughter is 12 years old. She is still a child.

Instead of just crying and “getting over it,” she began to ask me for ideas of how to help change things. She wanted to know how she could make people understand and get help so that no one else would have to hurt like she was and that no one else would have to suffer like Jan did. We discussed things back and forth then she heard about the Komen Race for the Cure marathon.

Sierra decided of all things that she could do that would be easy or quick, she wanted to run the race. So I emailed the organizer. I told her the story of Sierra. I did not give any details to the race organizer of names but she knew that it was Jan. She gave the information to Jan’s daughter. Jan’s daughter in turn invited Sierra and Sierra’s best friend who was running with her to join her team “Jan’s Gang.”

When we showed up for the race they all started the race together and as they finished the race they cheered for each other. As a whole that day they were there for each other through race the same way Sierra stuck with Jan.

It’s my hope that everyone can be part of “Jan’s Gang” and remember that we are all in this together. We all are there for each other. We all deserve the love and support that we can give for one another.

—Brett Washam

I’ve known Ellen for about 20 years. I came into her family as wife to whom she called her BBB (big brother Bruce). At age 35, Ellen went to have a mammogram and was told she was too young and to come back when she was 40. Well, at age 40, when they gave her, her first mammogram, Ellen was diagnosed with breast cancer… I wasn’t there when she got the results, but when I found out the news, I was floored!! I couldn’t believe my ears.

How dare such a deadly disease affect our family! Especially someone so young. I can only imagine how she felt when they told her. And what was going on in her mind. I felt such empathy for her. I wanted to just hug her, cry with her and make it all go away!

Through the years that followed, I watched Ellen go through so much pain and trauma that without the help of God to call upon, she would have not been able to come as far as she did. She fought this deadly disease for about 8 years. What a struggle! Each time it knocked her down, she came up fighting with all her might! As if that wasn’t enough to deal with, while fighting for her own life, Ellen suffered the death of her dad in June of 2006, and her mom, in September of 2007.

Ellen use to call and talk with mom every day of her married life. That was mom’s only daughter and they were really close. We got together as often as time would allow. Ellen and her family, own a cabin here in Berkeley Springs and came up from Woodbridge, VA three seasons out of the four. One of her favorite pastimes was riding the lawnmower.

After mom passed away, I could see how Ellen’s little body was getting more and more tired and weaker as time went by. We were able to be together this past thanksgiving and Christmas. It was a little sadder this year because mom wasn’t with us, but being with family is the most important part of any given holiday! Ellen has touched the hearts of so many people. When I first met her, I knew that I was going to love being a part of this family.

On my blogger site, I wrote a post which I named “Courage.” It was my first post about Ellen. Now, before I go on, I’d like to vent if you don’t mind? It was so very hard seeing Ellen go through this battle for so many years. She was one of the most courageous woman I’ve ever known and loved.

Ellen fought this ugly, unforgiving battle with cancer for the last eight years of her life. She’s gone through losing her breasts and her hair. Through the pain of radiation and deadly chemo. She also came through reconstructive surgery of caging some of her vertebrae because it was deteriorating. She endured having surgery on her brain and on one of her eye lids. She came through the doctors trying to rid the cancer in her spine, and also had to live with it attacking her bone marrow.

That September, just before mom passed away, we got word from Ellen that it came back into her brain. Mom was going through some very serious health problems of her own so we thought it best not to add that on her plate. Ellen told us that they were going to try and shrink the cancer in her brain this time but not to get her hopes up. She was truly living one day at a time. She decided not to go through the procedure and they more or less told her to go home and enjoy the quality of life she has left.

At that time, along with the pain n sorrow we were all feeling, I asked God that Ellen would be able to enjoy one more Christmas with her family. It was beautiful. Very poignant. We were there, her honey, Rocky, was there, all 3 of her kids and her 2 granddaughters shared a very special Christmas that year! Just like the year before we knew it would be moms last Christmas so that year was also most unforgettable. God heard my prayer and granted my hearts desire. What a loving God we have!

Ellen passed away January 12^th of this year. She spent her last few days in the hospice section of the hospital. I was very concerned that Ellen has never been baptized, even as a child. I arranged for the Chaplain of the hospital to come in and baptize Ellen. We talked about it for a while but the opportunity never presented itself… until that very time. Her honey, Rocky, her BBB and I were there with her. Along with baptizing her, the Chaplain anointed her with oil and gave Ellen her Last Rights.

I hate this part of life!!! And it doesn’t get any easier to bear each time we have to go through the death of another loved one. I know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but with so much pain and sorrow we have no control over, whatsoever, is happening all around us, it’s a wonder how we can pick ourselves up and go on living with that void. Ellen, you live in our hearts and you will sadly be missed!

ELLEN CLEVELAND
NOVEMBER 17, 1959 — JANUARY 12, 2008

You May Be One Person In This World, But To One Person, You Are The World!
If God Brings You To It, He Will Bring You Through It!
Your Faith Is A Gift From God!

—Anni

When he was only a year old I would be holding him and he would lay his head or hand on my left breast (every time I held him) we laughed it off… he would never lay his head or hand on my right breast.

While he was doing this, he had sadness in him that I really didn’t understand at first, he made me feel the lump there by his actions; I would have never even checked. Well after I had the cancer removed, he stopped avoiding my right breast.

Today (he is 3 now) at the Relay for Life he was running around having fun and when it came time for the survivors to lead the walk, he asked me to hold him and would not go with anyone else! So I held him and told him he could be with me. He laid his head on my shoulder the whole walk. As we got about half way around the track they started playing “Your My Hero” and Dylan picked his head up and faced me and said “Nana your my hero” and had a tear in his eye.

Well what puzzles me is, how a 3 year old knew what this was about! To all of a sudden want me to hold and walk with him just then (we were there all day!). First of all, I really think this blind baby is gifted some how, he knew I had cancer before anyone else, and to be 3yrs old and understand what today was about, the older kids didn’t understand…

There is a lot more that has happened with this baby but these two times really freaked me out! I know I have a gifted child from God! After the walk I handed him to Papa and you can see for yourself the tears.

—Shelly Montgomery

We lived with her & my grandfather, and I knew something was up, because normally, my Nana never asked for anyone’s help.

Eventually, my mom found out that my Nana was having difficulties and insisted she go to the doctor.  Her breast was 2-3 times its normal size, red and just not HERS.

The trip to the doctor’s office yielded scary information.  It was cancer and it had been allowed to progress for some time.  She’d have to have surgery immediately.  The year was 1976.

They had to do a mastectomy, and in 1976, there weren’t a lot of options for reconstruction.  She came home with a scar and a bra that she had to blow air into in order for it to appear to have a breast in it. 

This was so embarrassing for her, and she was always concerned that they were lopsided.  It would eventually become a joke but I remember the hurt in her face.  She’d lost an important part of herself.  But she moved on, and would go on to live another THIRTY YEARS – and face another bout with cancer (uterine) that she’d again beat. 

Both times, she had a surgery, but no chemo, no radiation.  She kicked cancer’s ASS.  She was the strongest woman I’ve ever know.  We would eventually lose her to a more insidious disease – Alzheimer’s – but she will always have that legacy in our family. 

She kicked cancer’s ASS – TWICE! My Nana.

—Dawn

Even though I have no hair, no eyebrows, dark nails and have lost weight just to name a few side affects from treatment I feel VERY BLESSED!

It was March 2008, most things were right in my world.  I was planning to go to the “Big Easy” to celebrate my 42nd birthday.  I felt a lump in my right breast when my hand grazed the top of it while pulling a t-shirt over my head.  I had my yearly Well Woman visit scheduled for later in the month, so I figured I would bring it to my doctor’s attention. 

Didn’t think much of it, so I headed to New Orleans and had a wonderful time. Upon my return, I went for my yearly check up – my doctor agreed, the lump felt odd.  I had two abnormal mammograms in past years that didn’t amount to anything I needed to be concerned with, so I naturally thought this was the case with the recent finding.

My doctor sent me for a diagnostic mammogram.  The Radiologist said the lump was “suspicious” and scheduled me for a biopsy the next week.  On March 28th I was told the words no woman should ever hear – “I’m sorry but you have breast cancer.”

Specifics about my breast cancer:
It is Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS) – In Situ (noninvasive) breast cancer refers to cancer in which the cells have remained within their place of origin — they haven’t spread to breast tissue around the duct or lobule. The most common type of noninvasive breast cancer is ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS), which is confined to the lining of the milk ducts. The abnormal cells haven’t spread through the duct walls into surrounding breast tissue.

I am Hormone Receptor Negative.  HER2 Positive – This gene drives production of the growth-promoting HER2 protein.  About one out of every five breast cancers is HER2 positive, meaning these cancers have greater than normal amounts of the HER2 protein. These cancers tend to grow and spread more aggressively than do other cancers.

The tumor was actually pretty small being 1.9 cm.   In May I had surgery, a Lumpectomy and Sentinel node biopsy to remove the tumor from my right breast and 18 Lymph Nodes from my right armpit in which two were determined cancerous.   In June I had surgery for the installation for a Medi-port in my right upper chest area for the administering of the chemotherapy drugs.

My cancer was classified as Stage II, which is considered to be early detection.  In this stage of breast cancer the tumor is fairly small in size but has spread to lymph nodes in the armpit OR cancer that is somewhat larger but has not spread to the lymph nodes.

My treatment regimen is 6 cycles of Chemotherapy.  I received Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin every 21 days.  I finished my last chemotherapy treatment on September 19th.

Although I won’t be receiving any more chemotherapy drugs I will still have to return every 21 days for the next six months to be administered the drug Herceptin.   Herceptin was included in my “chemo cocktail” all though it is not a chemotherapy drug.  Because of the type of breast cancer I have I must have this treatment for a full year.

It is a monoclonal antibody that is a type of biological therapy.  Herceptin only works on breast cancer patients with high levels of the protein HER2 such as I have.  This prevents the cancer cells from multiplying and growing.

Next up for me is Radiation Therapy.  In which I will have to go for treatment everyday for 6.5 weeks.   I will be meeting with the Radiologist Oncologist in the next 2-3 weeks for my Radiation consultation – treatment will begin some time in October.

My life has not been the same since March 28th 2008.  But, I think this experience will make me a better person and help me view and live my life differently.   I’m hoping my experience can help someone else.  

PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE, women do a monthly self-breast exam.  Don’t wait until you are 40 to have a mammogram – if you suspect something is wrong, or have a family history of breast cancer request one, even if your doctor says you are too young or doesn’t feel you need one.  And remember, men get breast cancer too! 

Men, encourage the women in your life to check their breast regularly.  I wouldn’t wish this disease on my worst enemy!  I will be walking in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on October 18th wish me luck!

Every hour 5 women die from breast cancer and 20 women will be told, “you have breast cancer.”

—by FL Hopkins

First off, I am not taking anything away from the unfortunate people that have been diagnosed with breast cancer — I lost my mother, my maternal grandmother, and a cousin to breast cancer so I have the utmost respect and admiration for these survivors.

However, it is because I lost these loved ones that I feel I am a survivor.

I first realized that there was something different about my grandmother when I was a child. One day I went into her bedroom without knocking (a BIG NO-NO) as she was dressing. I quickly noticed that she was missing a breast and horrifically scarred.

I remember asking her where her “boobie” went. She sat me down on the bed and explained that when she was 33 years old, she had breast cancer and had her breast removed to ensure that she would be around for her grandchildren. I accepted the explanation without much thought and went about my happy way as any child would do.

Nineteen years ago, I was your average 17-year-old when my mother died after battling breast cancer for 16 months. I was thrown into shock and despair. Suddenly, my curiosity about breast cancer became an obsession!

I talked to doctors, specialists, and other breast cancer patients to learn as much as I could about this disease that took my best friend. At that time, my grandmother had been cancer free for almost 30 years, bless her soul. With her guidance, she finished the chore of raising a motherless child.

For eight years after my mother died, I adored, listened, and cherished the bond that I had formed with my grandmother — thankful that I was lucky enough to have another love like my mother. Unfortunately, time was not on our side. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in her other breast and the odds were stacked against her. “NOT AGAIN” was my first thought.

I really didn’t think I could bear to lose another person and to the same disease. Being wiser the second time around, we made the best of our time and said our good-byes on my birthday. Three days later, she passed away — from breast cancer.

So you see, I have survived this disease. I survived the deaths of two great women. I have stayed educated and healthy thanks to my doctors.

I have tested positive for the BRCA gene – no surprise there – and I am classified as high-risk. Even though it’s a lifelong fear that I will get breast cancer, I remain positive that I won’t die from this disease. I’ll simply become a different survivor – a breast cancer survivor, not just a silent survivor.

All year long, especially in October, I honor their memories and support the efforts for all breast cancer initiatives. Please do the same.

by— Dana P. at Peapod Studio

The answer, of course, is that you don’t. But somehow I was still surprised at the beginning of September this year when they discovered that my cancer has metastasised. Someone had the audacity to tell me that they were never surprised when cancer came back. Well, I was. For all my fears, part of me believed them when they told me good things; when they were positive at me and when people talked about 2 and 5 year survival rates.

So I feel really dumb now that I have cancer in a lung and in my spine and in my lymph nodes. I feel stupid for ever having believed that I could beat cancer. I feel stupid about all the times I chirpily told people that I seemed to be doing well and that I was nearly reaching my 2-year mark which was good news. Not good enough. I feel a bit like I’ve failed. Although I know that it’s nothing to do with what I did or didn’t do. Cancer just does what it likes and it obviously really *loves* me.

It’s a lot harder to be positive this time around because I know that this time there is no chance of happily-ever-after. If I’m lucky then it can be controlled for some time but there’s no chance of a “cure.”

This is a management situation only and I haven’t worked out how to live with a disease that’s trying it’s damnedest to kill me.

—embrook

I think the pink ribbon marketing thing has totally turned me off to the idea of pink for October. I understand the idea of solidarity, but what I see is companies using pink to sell junk in the name of supporting women with breast cancer. Then I see the whole debate about pink merchandise in the press (and I’ve contributed to this) and it is taking attention away from important information about breast cancer and living with breast cancer that needs to get out there. Did you see the story Reuters sent out recently about how high suicide rates are among breast cancer survivors?

Instead of pink ribbons, I’d rather have national health insurance or any health insurance plan that insures SICK people. The way things are now, if you are young and healthy, you can get health insurance at a reasonable cost. If you are old or, God forbid, sick, forget it.

If you want to support people with cancer, forget the ribbon and lobby for national health care. Or for a state health insurance plan that is open to everyone, rich and poor, sick and well.

When someone without health insurance goes to a public hospital, and can’t pay for treatment, the hospital will write off the bill. One visit to the emergency room by an uninsured person can easily cost the same as one year of health insurance premiums, if not more.

Who makes up the difference when a public hospital writes off a bill? You and me, the taxpayers.

Making a web site pink for October is fairly benign compared to the pink-ribbon marketing that runs wild every October. Retailers offer pink-themed merchandise, then donate only a tiny share of the profits to cancer research.

I’m tripping over these products everywhere I go this month. At the pet store, a pink dog collar printed with pink ribbons sells for $9.99; the tag says 30 cents (30 cents!) from the sale of this product will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, the 800-pound gorilla of cause marketing.

But wait, there’s more! At the tea shop, a pink tin of candy. At the supermarket, pink M&Ms. Other recent pink products: scarves, clothing, and nail polish.

Nail polish? All of this just encourages us to indulge in retail therapy while trivializing a very serious disease. This is not about raising money for cancer research; this is about companies selling you stuff you don’t need, just to make a profit. Don’t fall for it.

To read more, go to my blog:

• The Assertive Cancer Patient
• Pink Soup
• No More Campbell’s Soup for Me
• Breast Cancer Barbie

—Jeanne Sather