I lost my mom to breast cancer on the 15th of July, 1993. She was 10 days away from her 36th birthday and I was 2 months away from my 10th. I found out from my dad who’s words still echo: “Your mom’s suffering is over.”

To backtrack a bit, my mom realized she was sick when she was pregnant with my little brother. She opted to wait until he was born and she had nursed him before seeking treatment, she wanted the best for him and was worried that treatment would affect the baby.

Mom had chemo and radiation, she started a radical macrobiotic diet to try and keep her body clean and healthy. All this had a devastating affect on her strength. She was weak and looked starved. She ate only steamed green veggies, brown rice and… well that was about it. Her legs were stick thin and she had to walk with a cane, eventually she was in a wheelchair. She always had a sense of humour though, even when she felt her worst. She was terribly sarcastic and that never went away, not until the very end.

During her illness she did have a remission which was cause for a huge celebration, but it wasn’t long until the cancer came back with gusto. I remember walking into my grandmother’s house and my mom was sitting at the kitchen table eating a huge piece of cherry cheesecake, this was when I knew she had given up the fight, she wanted to enjoy what time she had left.

The morphine she was on did terrible things to her mind and I know that if she had had the choice she wouldn’t have let me see her like that, but I did and even though it was sad, I cherish every memory I have of her. Unlike my little brother who’s life my mom put above her own, I have many memories. He only has one, it is of pushing her in her wheelchair out on the lawn. He wasn’t quite 3 when she died.

I miss her every single day of my life and wonder constantly what our relationship would be like today had she survived. I know many many people have lost loved ones to this disease but I wish it upon no one else. This needs to stop. Thanks to sites like this we can create awareness which is a great place to start. Thank you.

—Fresh_View